Breast Cancer and Mastectomy – Women Embracing the Flat Life

Breast Cancer and Mastectomy - Women Embracing the Flat Life

 

In February, my life abruptly shifted when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This unexpected turn of events sent waves of shock through my entire existence, leaving me feeling like a small, vulnerable boat tossed in the vast, stormy sea of uncertainty. I started the Pink 9-5 blog in response to this sea change, creating a space to share my journey. This platform has allowed me to express my emotions, my fears, my victories, and my experiences, hoping that my narrative could serve as a beacon of light for others navigating similar turbulent waters. My last post was a few months ago, just after my double mastectomy in April. I had initially struggled with maintaining a constant dialogue here, primarily due to the roller coaster of physical and emotional upheaval that came post-surgery. However, today, I’m ready to share again, to bring you up to speed on my journey towards acceptance, healing, and self-love.

When diagnosed with breast cancer, the medical treatment process can seem an overwhelming labyrinth. A myriad of decisions lie ahead: chemotherapy, radiation, bilateral mastectomy or lumpectomy, and a critical fork in the road – the choice to reconstruct or to remain flat. As my oncology team laid out the road map of my breast cancer treatment, my breast surgeon introduced the potential stop of a double mastectomy, a prospect that felt akin to standing at the edge of a precipice.

In the subsequent consultation with a proficient University of Michigan plastic surgeon, the possibility of reconstruction or the option of aesthetic flat closure (AFC) was discussed at length. It was an exhausting deluge of information, exploring the technicalities of implants, the process of reconstructing the breast using one’s tissue, the potential complications, and the course of recovery.

On the other side, the surgeon painted the picture of living flat, the impact it would have on my physical appearance, the potential benefits, the challenges, and the psychological implications. Weighing all these aspects, I made a personal choice, one that echoed my innate voice. The decision to “go flat”, to live without breasts, was intimidating but felt right.

Mirrors becoming battlegrounds.

Adapting to this new physical reality has been a steep learning curve. Mirrors became battlegrounds, reflecting the changes my body had undergone, narrating the tale of my battle against breast cancer. My image, reflected back at me, appeared alien, a stark shift from what I’d known all my life. Each sight of my flat chest brought a fresh wave of raw emotions.

Depression became an uninvited guest in my journey, intensifying my struggles with body image. I often found myself staring at the scars on my chest, a poignant reminder of the breasts that once were. I share these challenges not to paint a grim picture but to offer a realistic depiction of the psychological journey that comes along with a breast cancer diagnosis and the following treatment pathway.

Navigating the reality of living flat after a mastectomy has presented its fair share of challenges. The mirror, once a benign object, had morphed into a constant reminder of my battle against cancer and its consequences. My reflection bore little resemblance to the image I had known for most of my life, and it was a stark reminder of my ongoing fight. Each time I saw my flat chest, a wave of emotions would crash over me, marking the reality of my new life as a breast cancer patient.

The first time I saw my flat chest post-surgery, my emotions were a whirlwind. Fear, loss, courage, and to my surprise, a tinge of liberation were intertwined in this pivotal moment. It was an honest, raw look at my new body, the outcome of the surgical procedures, and the stark reality of my decision to live without reconstruction after a double mastectomy. 

Navigating the path of self-acceptance hasn’t been linear, nor has it been easy. There are days when I look at my reflection and feel strength and optimism. Other days, self-consciousness rears its head, reminding me of my ongoing struggle. Yet, every day, every glance at my scarred chest brings a degree of acceptance, a step towards healing. The decision to “go flat” is slowly transforming from a necessity of cancer treatment to a symbol of my resilience, my survival, and my authenticity.

portrait of woman with pink hair after aesthetic flat closure.
This is the first post-surgery picture I’ve posted that hasn’t hidden my chest.

Lean into your communities.

The journey of breast cancer treatment can be a solitary one, but it’s important to remember that we’re not alone. There are communities and support groups filled with women who, like me, have chosen to stay flat after mastectomy. Their shared experiences, victories, struggles, and tales of survival are a beacon of strength and camaraderie. In these spaces, I’ve found solace and inspiration. Women who opted out of reconstruction after getting a double mastectomy, who chose to embrace the flat life, are not just cancer survivors – they’re warriors. They’ve stopped wearing the breast prosthesis, choosing instead to wear their scars with pride. I want to note and emphasize that I don’t mean in any way to portray AFC as a choice that is superior to any other – single mastectomy, reconstruction, prostheses, etc. – each of us facing this awful decision that comes with mastectomy has made it personally and, undoubtedly, quite emotionally. This is the choice that felt right for me. Is it the best choice for me? I believe so, but ask me again tomorrow and I may feel less empowered about it because of the accompanying depression. 

Researchers find that a considerable number of women choosing not to have reconstruction surgery are satisfied with their outcome. In various surveys conducted, many women reported a sense of relief and happiness with their decision to remain flat. There’s a certain empowerment that comes with living flat, a testament to our tenacity, our resilience, and our ability to embrace life after cancer, in all its raw, real beauty. I’m still on my journey towards becoming “flat and fabulous”, and I won’t claim to be there just yet. But with each passing day, my life fighting cancer, my choice to embrace the flat life, is slowly becoming a part of my identity, molding me into a stronger, more resilient version of myself. It’s carving a new narrative for women undergoing a mastectomy, providing another option, another way for women to heal, grow, and reclaim their bodies post-cancer surgery. 

Indeed, cancer, especially breast cancer, is an uninvited guest that forces us to confront our mortality. However, it’s also a powerful catalyst that can drive us to discover a level of inner strength we didn’t know we possessed. This journey, punctuated with challenges and victories, can lead to immense personal growth and transformation.

Fear, loss, courage, and a sense of liberation.

Choosing to “go flat” may seem like a path lined with obstacles. However, it’s also a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and transformation. The sight of my flat chest, a clear surgical outcome of my decision to live without reconstruction after a mastectomy, brought a maelstrom of emotions. Fear, loss, courage, and surprisingly, a sense of liberation were all entwined in that transformative moment.

Walking on the path of self-acceptance has been a complex dance of two steps forward, one step back. Some days I draw strength and optimism from my reflection, while on others, self-consciousness rears its head. Yet, with each passing day, the sight of my scarred chest brings a level of acceptance, a nod towards healing, a step closer to reclaiming my body. The decision to “go flat” is metamorphosing from a clinical decision dictated by cancer treatment to a symbol of my resilience, my survival, and my authenticity.

The terrain of breast cancer treatment is often solitary, fraught with numerous hurdles. However, the companionship of communities and support groups can lighten the journey significantly. These groups are a beacon of strength and camaraderie, filled with women who, like me, have chosen to stay flat post-mastectomy. Within these supportive circles, I found comfort and inspiration.

We need to continue extending our empathetic voices and shared experiences to others on this path. Whether it’s sharing your story, lending a listening ear, or simply sitting in silence with someone, it can make a profound difference. Remember, we’re all in this together, carving our paths, one day at a time.

Despite the steep journey that follows a breast cancer diagnosis and mastectomy, the aim is to embrace and accept our new realities. Whether you’re choosing to “go flat” or opting for women who undergo reconstruction, remember that it’s your journey, and it’s about what makes you feel complete and authentic.

To all my fellow fighters and breast cancer survivors, let’s keep going. Know that we are stronger than we think, and we are never alone. We’re a tapestry of strength, resilience, and determination, woven together by our shared experiences. Let’s keep extending our empathetic voices and shared experiences to others on this path. Whether you’re sharing your story, lending a listening ear, or simply sitting in silence with someone, it can make a profound difference.

One day at a time.

Remember, we’re all in this together, carving our paths, one day at a time. Despite the steep and daunting journey that follows a breast cancer diagnosis and mastectomy, the aim is to embrace and accept our new realities. Whether you’re choosing to aesthetic flat closure or opting for reconstruction, remember that it’s your journey, and it’s about what makes you feel complete and authentic. To all my fellow fighters and breast cancer survivors, let’s keep going. Know that we are stronger than we think, and we are never alone. We’re a tapestry of strength, resilience, and determination, woven together by our shared experiences. 

Embrace the journey, embrace the change, embrace each other. No matter how you choose to navigate your path, you’re fabulous. Here’s to flat visibility, to life fighting cancer, to each one of us, and our unique yet shared stories of resilience.

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